You are at home, rushing around, with only five minutes left if you are going to make it to the last half of play group. You still have to help the kids get their shoes on, get them in their car seats, and drive across town. Hastily you call to your toddler that it is time to go. What do you hear? ?No Mommy, I don?t want to go! I want to stay home!? If you finally manage to get out of the house, you will most likely find yourself suiting up for the same battle an hour later, when its time to go back home for lunch.

As any parent of a toddler knows, transitions are one of the most challenging, yet unavoidable, parts of the day. Soon after our cute little babies master the essential skills it takes to walk and talk, an irresistible urge to make their own choices begins to surface. Although this is an exciting time, we run into trouble when our toddlers realize that the only way to make decisions of their own is to first disagree with everything that you have to say. Now whenever you ask them to do something, even if it is to eat ice cream, it's highly likely they will refuse!

Creativity is an essential parenting skill. Parents can guide their children through transitions and have a peaceful, productive, and nonconfrontational day by using some of the ?tricks? below:

Sing a song - Singing to initiate, and through a transition, is especially helpful for toddlers. By being consistent and using the same song for the chosen activity your child will learn that these songs are clues to what comes next. We all know the ?Clean Up? song; how about ?This is the way we put on our shoes? or ?If you?re ready and you know it, stand by the door!?

Offer choices - Toddlers are much more willing to cooperate if they feel like they have some control over the process. Bring two pairs of shoes over to your toddler and say: ?It?s time to put your shoes on. Would you like to wear your sneakers or your sandals? I wonder which ones you are going to choose.? (Keep choices to two.)

Use Humor and/or a little reverse psychology - If your child initially refuses to put on her shoes, put them on your hands and walk, dance, or run them past him. Use a silly voice and say, ?You can?t catch me! I don?t want to go on your feet! No! No! NO!? You will definitely have his attention and he will most likely playfully snatch them off your hands and quickly put them on her feet.

Look ahead - Talk about what?s coming next. One client told me that after I suggested this technique she never had another problem with getting her little boy to leave somewhere fun. Her son immediately gets up to go home when she tells him their dog is missing them. She reminds him that he needs to help her refresh their dog?s water bowl and take him for a walk. Think of things your child likes doing at home; watering the plants, setting the table, playing with playdough; anything that gets your child excited about what?s ahead.

Good Luck and remember to enjoy this special time with your child because it goes by way too fast. If all else fails, play group can always wait until next week!

 

Return to Index